ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
