his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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