So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
