we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm at about main and main street
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.