$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
