Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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(925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d

Replies (26) Good night (592) Bad night (3653)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome

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(414): i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome http://tfl.nu/01jd

Replies (36) Good night (9755) Bad night (749)
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(818): View more from California

Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks

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(818): Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks http://tfl.nu/wbdh

Replies (32) Good night (915) Bad night (7127)
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(813): View more from Florida

Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?

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(813): Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room? http://tfl.nu/bp9i

Replies (14) Good night (4992) Bad night (2353)
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(707): View more from California

frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.

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(707): frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it. http://tfl.nu/00co

Replies (9) Good night (4333) Bad night (1151)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.

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(724): It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me. http://tfl.nu/9spl

Replies (7) Good night (3800) Bad night (752)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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(203): Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one. http://tfl.nu/lrd9

Replies (6) Good night (3837) Bad night (740)
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(314): View more from Missouri

You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard

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(314): You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard http://tfl.nu/m8tv

Replies (4) Good night (2289) Bad night (1002)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"

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(701): and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies" http://tfl.nu/t57n

Replies (4) Good night (2139) Bad night (888)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?

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(918): They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down? http://tfl.nu/j8kx

Replies (5) Good night (2092) Bad night (636)
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(786): View more from Florida

If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok

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(786): If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok http://tfl.nu/pfjn

Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (2092)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

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(781): Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym http://tfl.nu/lv47

Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (448)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player

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(201): Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player http://tfl.nu/qjie

Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (760)
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(416): View more from Toronto

The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.

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(416): The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won. http://tfl.nu/zzwg

Replies (4) Good night (663) Bad night (297)
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(607): View more from New York

I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out

(253): View more from Washington

why what happened?

(607): View more from New York

Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.

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(607): I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out (253): why what happened? (607): Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket. http://tfl.nu/9yxi

Replies (9) Good night (608) Bad night (244)

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