just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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