I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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