maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
