So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
