My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
