So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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