All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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