remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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