Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
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I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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