party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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