we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize