Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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