He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
