Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
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I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize