carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
