It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
