you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
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The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
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just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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