Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
