why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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