??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
