i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
