I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
