is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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