There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
