Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
