you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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