dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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