there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize