U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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