'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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