beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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