this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
