Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The feeling are messing with the penis
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
