i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
