What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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