nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize