I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
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So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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