He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize