Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
