they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
