he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Drunk is not a location!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
