Pants 0. Shit 1.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
