is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
