Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
