Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
