Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
