Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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