i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it was like having sex with a tree stump
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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