I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
