I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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