you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I will pee on everything he values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize