Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
