absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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